Married & Joseph

by The Ornaments

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    Cotton bag with 3" bottom gusset comes in Lutheran Book Of Worship Green and includes an immediate download of "Married and Joseph.". Limited to 1 per customer. Designed by the inimitable Ryan Bren.

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we met when we both volunteered for the christmas program at the lutheran church my name is joseph so i played him and she was married so she played her and the wise men were three brothers who would keep our secret no members had a baby that season so a cabbage patch kid played jesus the congregation still ovated as we ended i didn't see a dry eye we both bowed and retired to the choir room to get out of costume "oh my god i did it," she said, "i'm an actress, i made it, like my husband said i never could have." forget him, you were born with it, you're a star you should be on the next flight out to los angeles then she pushed me to the floor kissed me there until we moved to the davenport and through her hair i saw the wise men peeking in through the holy doors kyle's stocking had a year's supply of Nos energy drink trevor's, a ticket to a college football game cody has a new red hat he adores don't worry mary, they won't say a word anymore the next christmas a real baby played jesus they said he was a miracle because his father couldn't father any children it had to be spiritual i stood in back with my mother's eyes knowing that baby has my mother's eyes and that's when kyle turned around and said, "hey joe, my supply's almost out." ;)


The Ornaments are Mike Behrends and Lance Owens.

"One of 2019's best new Christmas songs, no questions asked. Yet another winner from these guys."

"You will never quite hear a Christmas song like this from anyone else."
–Christmas Underground


Recorded November 2019 in Madison, WI during the first snowfall of the year using an upright piano, Roland Alpha Juno 1, 1974 Gibson SG, and an assortment of effects pedals.


released December 1, 2019

Volume 6, Christmas 2019
Folkmonger Records, FMR009

Thank you for listening despite countless other options for how you could spend 5 minutes of your time this holiday season.

See you next year 🎄✝️


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The Ornaments Wisconsin


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